Cleaning Time for MUSIC (Vol. 1)

Which means, of course, going through my ipod and deleting stuff.

Seriously, I don't know how half of this stuff gets on there. I think my ipod escapes at night, hangs out in seedy clubs and has unprotected sex with unfamiliar laptops. This turns into a metric ass-ton of music that I just don't know what to do with.

My plan of action: listen to two songs off the album. If the songs appease me, I've found a new band that I like. If not, I delete them BUM BUM BAAA.

First up, Apollo Sunshine's album Katonah.

(Oh- and PS, if I don't like a band that you like, I'm sorry.)

First song: Happening.
This is really happening, it's happening, I'm happy and-- something some-thing so-ome thing, blah bli blah blah bloo.
Maybe I would have liked this song in highschool? It's got almost angry screamings and a whiny something that hovers over the repetitive melody. Not much in the way of lyrics, though. I'm feeling charitable, though, so I've decided to move on to the next song.
Second Song: Blood is Wood.
What? What the fuck is this? Is this even from the same band? It's like the Partridge Family bit the lead singer and he's turned into some kind of ultra-radioactive douche. There are sleigh-bells. There are sleigh-bells in this song. But I think I caught a line that said something like "sweeping up the ashes of the bride and groom," so it makes it kinda better (?)
Overall ruling: I'm intrigued, but mostly just because of confusion. It's... I don't even know what to say. I'm listening to the next song and it's like a worse version of They Might Be Giants. Except for a line that says something like "I'd like to f*ck my way into the womb, maybe spend the afternoon." How did this get onto my ipod. (PS- now they have a Beatles breakdown!)

NEXT!

AT AT
First Song: For A Long Way Through
I'm not gonna lie, I was too busy trying to figure out formatting issues with bold text to listen to much of this song. But also, it doesn't sound like there's much I've been missing. People who can't sing singing in unison over an acoustic guitar that sounds like Bob Dylan's illegitimate son had twins and the musical/lyrical prowess that is carried through the Dylan line has been watered down to the point where nothing recognizable or interesting remains.
Ha. No. They're not that bad. Mostly just boring.
Second Song: Three Three Three
Seriously, they suck at singing. Is there two people? A mystery! Some pretty all-right guitar, though. Oho! Some meta-lyrics about how they're singing a song with chords in!
Overall Ruling: BAH get it off my ipod.

AU Verbs
First Song: Summerheat. Why do I have two bands that are two letters long? Either way, this one starts off with what I assume are whale songs, or whale songs played on a musical saw or glass harmonica. Fun fact: it was assumed that the glass harmonica would drive the listeners crazy if they were exposed to it long enough. It was also invented by Ben Franklin. True story.
Where was I?
Oh.
Yeah.
The complete lack of melody, replaced only by "HHHyyewwwwoooohhhaaaaAAAaaaooouuuuEEEeeyuuuwwwwoooooOOOOO." A guy is singing, but he is also not singing for more than two words at a time. Some might call the music 'minimalist,' others 'dull.'
WOAH where did this actual rhythm come from? I'm surprised! And only four minutes into the song! Though the singing stopped. Um.
Second Song :rr vs. d. What is it that hip things have against proper capitalization? The world may never know. Though I actually like this song. It's full of claps and machine-gun hoots. Also the singers are harmonizing and have more than three words that they sing (they're up to five!) I don't really like the circus-show-breakdown they have halfway through the song, though. That kinda lost me. If they didn't have a circus shoved into the song, I'd be right there with them.
Overall Ruling: The first song sucked, but the second was pretty all-right. This deserves further investigation. I KEEP THEM!

NEXXXT

Bad Veins Bad Veins
First Song: Crosseyed. Okay. Okay. Kinda like The Strokes, but...
Yeah. Pretty much like The Strokes. More distortion, but I think it might be a ruse to mask the fact that the lead singer isn't the lead singer of The Strokes (it'd totally be my luck if the lead singer was actually Julian Casablancas. Whoops!)
And hey-- if I've found a good 'The Strokes' substitute, that'd be cool. But I don't think this is it. Too much Coldplay mixed in. If you're a drunken New York hooligan, you shouldn't have choirs singing behind you.
Second Song :You Kill. bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "I'm whining about you cheating on me except it's slow and I'm singing it like I have no emotional connection to you" bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "You've pushed me down the stairs, and I'm pretty OK with that" bum TSbum. TSS.
Overall Ruling: Like The Strokes. Kinda worse. Pretty much entirely worse. THEY GONE.

Battles Mirrored
First Song: Tonto. Jesus. Did these people even watch The Lone Ranger? The stereotypical native-american rhythms sounded nothing like this. Though the stereotypical chanting did(?) I always get really depressed when I listen to music like this because it's always saying to me "I AM SO DIFFERENT PUT MY POST-ROCK IN YOUR EAR-HOLES," but then I don't really want to so it does the same thing twentysevenmillion times in a row just to get the point across. I would think it was more innovative if it wasn't seven straight minutes of "oomp TS pap TS oomp TS pap TS."
Second Song: Leyendecker. It kinda sounds like music to a bad videogame where you're walking through a giant sewer but then you get all pissed off because you've been wading through other people's shit for a good half-hour and you just passed the same save point you've been past three times already.
Overall Ruling: Take that, you post-rock scum!

... Jesus, am I only halfway through the 'B's?'
Shit.
Okay.

Bibio Fi
First Song: Puffer. Actually, I really kinda like this. It's got an 'English Countryside' feel with its poor recording quality but good rhythm without drums and charming guitar quartet-thing. Like all of the really nice parts of the Chronicles of Narnia.
Second Song: London Planes. This song is only a minute and a half long. But it's nice?
Overall Ruling: I feel like this is an album that I could fall asleep to, but in a good way. Like, that's the point of the album and it's totally OK with this fact. I do believe I shall keep it.

NEXT

The Black Lips 200 Million Thousand
First Song: Starting Over. Seriously, who sings like this? It's like the Velvet Underground got shit-faced and gave their instruments to the obnoxious guy at the end of the bar and told him to make a song with his friends in ten minutes. Not wanting to disappoint, the obnoxious guy gets the bartender and a hobo together and shoves one out in about seven. They've even got 'harmonies' in.
Second Song: Let It Grow. Mmmm. Yup. Okay. I'm done.
Overall Ruling: GET THEE BEHIND ME, BLACK LIPS!

Okay. I'm bored with this for now.
Tune in next time for another excellent edition of "Shit Keller Does when he's Bored!"