 |
| Also, I found this in the pocket of my apron at work. I'm... not the best at limbs. |
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Friday, October 14, 2011
And furthermore...
Concerning Wall Street: You can have your wealth. I don't really care. It's all just numbers anyway, right?
But it's a hard blow to suddenly realize that I'm not gonna be able to follow my dreams like everybody always said I could. Instead, I'm gonna make a dollar over minimum wage and pay most of that to some organization I couldn't tell you the name of for the better part of a decade. I can't protest it because I can't get the time off of work, and I need the work so I can pay you, my school, my landlord and my utilities company (and pay for food, but that's a distant priority for some reason.)
It's a hard blow to realize that I can't be anything I want to be, because of the system we have in place. And it makes me mad that there are people who can be anything they want to be, but they're all in congress or they're CEOs of a company, and for the most part they act like children (Holy shit does that make me mad. To those in power: Grow. The fuck. Up.) And the part that makes me more angry than anything else, is that I've got a pretty good deal going. There are so many people out there who have it worse than I do, and I have it pretty bad (It was a wake-up call for me when I realized that, as well-off as I thought I was, I still qualify for free food at the food bank.)
It's a hard blow to find out that freedom is for the rich, I guess.
Maybe I'm overstating it. I always do. But it's a hard blow to find out that I can't be free.
But it's a hard blow to suddenly realize that I'm not gonna be able to follow my dreams like everybody always said I could. Instead, I'm gonna make a dollar over minimum wage and pay most of that to some organization I couldn't tell you the name of for the better part of a decade. I can't protest it because I can't get the time off of work, and I need the work so I can pay you, my school, my landlord and my utilities company (and pay for food, but that's a distant priority for some reason.)
It's a hard blow to realize that I can't be anything I want to be, because of the system we have in place. And it makes me mad that there are people who can be anything they want to be, but they're all in congress or they're CEOs of a company, and for the most part they act like children (Holy shit does that make me mad. To those in power: Grow. The fuck. Up.) And the part that makes me more angry than anything else, is that I've got a pretty good deal going. There are so many people out there who have it worse than I do, and I have it pretty bad (It was a wake-up call for me when I realized that, as well-off as I thought I was, I still qualify for free food at the food bank.)
It's a hard blow to find out that freedom is for the rich, I guess.
Maybe I'm overstating it. I always do. But it's a hard blow to find out that I can't be free.
I feel like I should say...
I feel like I should say
this: I don't like the protest culture. I really, really don't. I grew
up in Boulder, and for as many signs as I saw held up on the side of the
road that said something worthwhile, there were twice the number
supporting something inane and unimportant that only someone with
trust-fund money would care about. In a climate like that, it's hard to
support something like a protest. There are so many associations between
protesters and the ignorant, dogmatic and idly wealthy that--even if
you do have a legitimate point--it's hard to take a protest seriously.
But that's the problem. If there's one thing we should take seriously, it's our right to protest. I don't care if you think that the people who do it are worthless (I mean, some of them might be. We can't all be perfect, right?) But if you care about an issue, say something. Don't dismiss your right to speak because you don't like some of the people who use it.
Your message is your responsibility. If you don't like the image of the protester, it's your responsibility to change it. If someone you hate has something to say, that doesn't mean you should hate speaking. If you have something to say, say it.
Don't leave the talking to the people you disagree with. They'll just win the argument.
But that's the problem. If there's one thing we should take seriously, it's our right to protest. I don't care if you think that the people who do it are worthless (I mean, some of them might be. We can't all be perfect, right?) But if you care about an issue, say something. Don't dismiss your right to speak because you don't like some of the people who use it.
Your message is your responsibility. If you don't like the image of the protester, it's your responsibility to change it. If someone you hate has something to say, that doesn't mean you should hate speaking. If you have something to say, say it.
Don't leave the talking to the people you disagree with. They'll just win the argument.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
I have a scanner!
And thus, I have an inflated sense of my doodling prowess.
Suck it, all you scanner-less people.
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Visual Lists for This Day
So. Here is a visual record of some things about today. Can you read them? I sure can't. But, then again, I'm not really sure how this whole 'technology' thing works. HERE GOES NOTHING!
Addendum: I had three more cookies at 6:45.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
CLEANING TIME FOR MUSIC VOL.2 because it is RAINING
Seriously, I'm sick of this goddamn rain. I know, I know-- "This might be the first year without drought conditions!" and "It's really helping with the forest fires!" and "BLAH BLAH BLAH WEH WEH."
So, instead of being productive, I'm indulging in my middle-class privilege by remarking on all of the pretty pretty music I have.
OR IS IT PRETTY?!
We'll see!
FIRST UP!
(Wow. I listen to most of by B's. Golly.)
Black Tambourine Black Tambourine
First Song: Throw Aggie Off the Bridge - I'm not gonna lie, I chose this song mostly for the title. Goddamn Aggie, man! Always talkin' trash. Always.
But really, I kinda like this song. It's got sort of a Pixies-ish charm with a Ramones-ish lack of talent. Also lady singers, which is pretty rad.
Second Song : Drown - I'm... picking up on an unsettling theme here. A theme that could be considered creepy if this music weren't so gesh-dern CUTE! Seriously, it's like a fuzzy fifties swingin' tune, except Earth Angel is now floating face-down in a reservoir.
Overall Ruling: I'm actually really liking this music. For all that it seems to be exclusively about people dying in water.
I KEEP.
Off to an auspicious start! Next up?
Blonde Redhead 23
First Song: Dr. Strangeluv - Huh. This is... Good. Like, I'm usually against cutsey mis-spellings of cinematic landmarks (on general principle) but there's something I like about how this singer doesn't really sound like a good singer but still manages to sound unique without hurting my ear-holes. Also? Cowbell. Good cowbell.
Second Song : The Dress - I like this song a little less. I dunno. It sounds like The Knife, but less complex. And the guitar is kinda cheesy. Like, bad horror movie cheesy. Asylum-level sci-fi original movie cheesy. Maybe not that cheesy. I'm over-reacting. But still pretty cheesy. And the lyrics are a little boring (Maybe I'm used to lyrics about people drowning? IT'S THE RAIN'S FAULT.)
Overall Ruling: I really liked the first song, but then the second song let me down. I'm split. Is the rest of the album ho-hum humdrum like The Dress? Or awesome possum kick in the patoot like Dr. Strangeluv? Only further investigation will say!
KEEP!
Bon Iver For Emma, Forever ago
I know, I know. Bon Iver is actually a famous musician, and he's good, and I should have listened to him about 30 goddamn years ago. I'd like to say that I've given him a fair shake. My confession? Every time he comes up on my ipod's shufflings, I skip him. I'm a busy man!
First Song: Skinny Love - Whoops. I think this is his famous song. I just picked it because I'm a thin person, and I'm a fan of love. So far, though, I'm about halfway. Like, it's a good song, but it's a different flavor of Iron & Wine. There's something alluring about his voice, though. It's tough to judge because I'm thinking of all the movie trailers that this song has been in. Hm.
Second Song : The Wolves (Act I&II) - Why? Why are there multiple acts? It is a song that only lasts five minutes, and--
Oh. Oh crap. I'm getting that fuzzy folk feeling right down behind my ribs. Damnit, Bon Iver. You know I'm a sucker for fuzzy folky crescendos. Did you plan this? Did you plan this?!
Overall Ruling: Okay. I guess Bon Iver has earned his (their?) reputation. I guess I like this music. I guess I'll keep it. I guess.
Broken Social Scene You Forgot it in People
This is another one of those bands that could be considered "really good, and I don't know why you're just now listening to them. I mean, really, Keller? C'mon." But the truth of the matter is, the only song that I've ever really listened to on this album is Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl. And then, only because it's on the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack. And I totally liked it! But I haven't really connected that song with the band that created it, in my mind. SO HERE WE GO!
First Song: Stars and Sons - Mm. My first impression is... less than shining. But it's growing on me. It's got the same post-rock follies that Battles suffered from where the same thing happens over and over again, but I actually like what they're doing in this one. Also, claps. I am a sucker for claps. Really, it's like that joke that you've heard a million times and it only becomes funny after the first five hundred thousand repetitions.
I'm bobbing my head! This is a good sign.
Second Song: Almost Crimes (Radio Kills Remix) - I always hate songs that reference things that I don't understand. What is Radio Kills? Why remix it? Was the original not good enough for you?! The song seems good, though. BSS seems like they usually start their songs off a little underwhelming, and then they move in for the ultra-rock super-kill. This song is pretty standard until the saxophone comes in.
Overall Ruling: Pretty good, I guess. The second song isn't really what I'm looking for right now-- kind of a mix between Built to Spill and The Offspring, but I think these guys deserve more chances.
Man. I want to delete some stuff! WHAT THE EFF. WHERE IS ALL THE TERRIBLE MUSIC.
Maybe the letter C will help!
The Caesars 39 Minutes of Bliss
First Song: Out of my Hands - I know that Jerk it Out is their famous song, so I'm starting with the one after that.
And. Eh. It's okay. Kinda... Eh. But I said I'd listen to at least two songs all the way through, so I've got to slug this one out.
Durp durp. Two minutes left.
Now a minute and a half.
... Closing in on a minute. Yup. Now we're at a minute.
I wonder if the total running time for this album is 39 minutes? Or if, like, they figured the running time into their bad songs too, so it's really like 47 minutes long.
Second Song: Only You - This sounds like the last song. Except it's more insulting ("You got ears like dumbo, baby!" is the first line.)
Overall Ruling: This sucks. Yessss.
DELETION POWERS ACTIVATE!
Candy Claws In the Dream of the Sea Life
This band is actually from the town I live in. I've never met them, nor have I ever heard their music. I have, however, seen one of their short films. And it was weird.
First Song: Starry Fighter Kite - Gloopbloop deepdeepdeepcheep chimchimchimchimchimchim. This is what I get out of this song. And then that, but fuzzier and distorted. For all that, though, I kindof like it. It manages to actually have a structure finally, after about 2:50 in. It's like a quieter Animal Collective. Hm.
Second Song: Catamaran - I think this is their single, actually. It doesn't really have a lead-in, because they keep faking us out with more electronic squawking. It's cute, I guess.
Update: it wasn't the band that had the bad electronic squawking, it was the video that I was trying to load on my infirm computer. So hey! They've got points for that, I guess?
Overall Ruling: I think I'm going to keep it, but only for the hipster cred. Like, "Oh hey Keller, have you heard of this obscure Northern Colorado band?" "Yeah. I've listened to two whole songs." ":-O"
Okay. I gotta eat some food. But first!
Bonus Track!
Cardigans Iron Man
TThis is probably one of the coolest covers of any song ever. Like, instead of Ozzy Osbourne, we've got a twenty-something lady crooning over an electronic drum beat and synth about how Iron Man traveled time for the future of mankind.
Ka-LINK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzgZJEpLuw0
So, instead of being productive, I'm indulging in my middle-class privilege by remarking on all of the pretty pretty music I have.
OR IS IT PRETTY?!
We'll see!
FIRST UP!
(Wow. I listen to most of by B's. Golly.)
Black Tambourine Black Tambourine
First Song: Throw Aggie Off the Bridge - I'm not gonna lie, I chose this song mostly for the title. Goddamn Aggie, man! Always talkin' trash. Always.
But really, I kinda like this song. It's got sort of a Pixies-ish charm with a Ramones-ish lack of talent. Also lady singers, which is pretty rad.
Second Song : Drown - I'm... picking up on an unsettling theme here. A theme that could be considered creepy if this music weren't so gesh-dern CUTE! Seriously, it's like a fuzzy fifties swingin' tune, except Earth Angel is now floating face-down in a reservoir.
Overall Ruling: I'm actually really liking this music. For all that it seems to be exclusively about people dying in water.
I KEEP.
Off to an auspicious start! Next up?
Blonde Redhead 23
First Song: Dr. Strangeluv - Huh. This is... Good. Like, I'm usually against cutsey mis-spellings of cinematic landmarks (on general principle) but there's something I like about how this singer doesn't really sound like a good singer but still manages to sound unique without hurting my ear-holes. Also? Cowbell. Good cowbell.
Second Song : The Dress - I like this song a little less. I dunno. It sounds like The Knife, but less complex. And the guitar is kinda cheesy. Like, bad horror movie cheesy. Asylum-level sci-fi original movie cheesy. Maybe not that cheesy. I'm over-reacting. But still pretty cheesy. And the lyrics are a little boring (Maybe I'm used to lyrics about people drowning? IT'S THE RAIN'S FAULT.)
Overall Ruling: I really liked the first song, but then the second song let me down. I'm split. Is the rest of the album ho-hum humdrum like The Dress? Or awesome possum kick in the patoot like Dr. Strangeluv? Only further investigation will say!
KEEP!
Bon Iver For Emma, Forever ago
I know, I know. Bon Iver is actually a famous musician, and he's good, and I should have listened to him about 30 goddamn years ago. I'd like to say that I've given him a fair shake. My confession? Every time he comes up on my ipod's shufflings, I skip him. I'm a busy man!
First Song: Skinny Love - Whoops. I think this is his famous song. I just picked it because I'm a thin person, and I'm a fan of love. So far, though, I'm about halfway. Like, it's a good song, but it's a different flavor of Iron & Wine. There's something alluring about his voice, though. It's tough to judge because I'm thinking of all the movie trailers that this song has been in. Hm.
Second Song : The Wolves (Act I&II) - Why? Why are there multiple acts? It is a song that only lasts five minutes, and--
Oh. Oh crap. I'm getting that fuzzy folk feeling right down behind my ribs. Damnit, Bon Iver. You know I'm a sucker for fuzzy folky crescendos. Did you plan this? Did you plan this?!
Overall Ruling: Okay. I guess Bon Iver has earned his (their?) reputation. I guess I like this music. I guess I'll keep it. I guess.
Broken Social Scene You Forgot it in People
This is another one of those bands that could be considered "really good, and I don't know why you're just now listening to them. I mean, really, Keller? C'mon." But the truth of the matter is, the only song that I've ever really listened to on this album is Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl. And then, only because it's on the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack. And I totally liked it! But I haven't really connected that song with the band that created it, in my mind. SO HERE WE GO!
First Song: Stars and Sons - Mm. My first impression is... less than shining. But it's growing on me. It's got the same post-rock follies that Battles suffered from where the same thing happens over and over again, but I actually like what they're doing in this one. Also, claps. I am a sucker for claps. Really, it's like that joke that you've heard a million times and it only becomes funny after the first five hundred thousand repetitions.
I'm bobbing my head! This is a good sign.
Second Song: Almost Crimes (Radio Kills Remix) - I always hate songs that reference things that I don't understand. What is Radio Kills? Why remix it? Was the original not good enough for you?! The song seems good, though. BSS seems like they usually start their songs off a little underwhelming, and then they move in for the ultra-rock super-kill. This song is pretty standard until the saxophone comes in.
Overall Ruling: Pretty good, I guess. The second song isn't really what I'm looking for right now-- kind of a mix between Built to Spill and The Offspring, but I think these guys deserve more chances.
Man. I want to delete some stuff! WHAT THE EFF. WHERE IS ALL THE TERRIBLE MUSIC.
Maybe the letter C will help!
The Caesars 39 Minutes of Bliss
First Song: Out of my Hands - I know that Jerk it Out is their famous song, so I'm starting with the one after that.
And. Eh. It's okay. Kinda... Eh. But I said I'd listen to at least two songs all the way through, so I've got to slug this one out.
Durp durp. Two minutes left.
Now a minute and a half.
... Closing in on a minute. Yup. Now we're at a minute.
I wonder if the total running time for this album is 39 minutes? Or if, like, they figured the running time into their bad songs too, so it's really like 47 minutes long.
Second Song: Only You - This sounds like the last song. Except it's more insulting ("You got ears like dumbo, baby!" is the first line.)
Overall Ruling: This sucks. Yessss.
DELETION POWERS ACTIVATE!
Candy Claws In the Dream of the Sea Life
This band is actually from the town I live in. I've never met them, nor have I ever heard their music. I have, however, seen one of their short films. And it was weird.
First Song: Starry Fighter Kite - Gloopbloop deepdeepdeepcheep chimchimchimchimchimchim. This is what I get out of this song. And then that, but fuzzier and distorted. For all that, though, I kindof like it. It manages to actually have a structure finally, after about 2:50 in. It's like a quieter Animal Collective. Hm.
Second Song: Catamaran - I think this is their single, actually. It doesn't really have a lead-in, because they keep faking us out with more electronic squawking. It's cute, I guess.
Update: it wasn't the band that had the bad electronic squawking, it was the video that I was trying to load on my infirm computer. So hey! They've got points for that, I guess?
Overall Ruling: I think I'm going to keep it, but only for the hipster cred. Like, "Oh hey Keller, have you heard of this obscure Northern Colorado band?" "Yeah. I've listened to two whole songs." ":-O"
Okay. I gotta eat some food. But first!
Bonus Track!
Cardigans Iron Man
TThis is probably one of the coolest covers of any song ever. Like, instead of Ozzy Osbourne, we've got a twenty-something lady crooning over an electronic drum beat and synth about how Iron Man traveled time for the future of mankind.
Ka-LINK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzgZJEpLuw0
Why Minecraft's Got Me Down (Or, "The Sandbox Blues.")
There's something that's got me down about Minecraft. As much as I love it, and for how excellent it's made, I have to say that it makes me really... pensive, I guess? I don't know-- uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable, but unhappy. Paralyzed with ennui.
Yeah. That's it.
Paralyzed with ennui.
I mean, it's a gorgeous game. Even for a game based around a set of 1X1 blocks that you punch until you make another pile of 1X1 blocks, it's gorgeous. No game has made me appreciate the majesty of intricately crafted blocky landscapes like Minecraft. The fact that I can say that with a straight face should indicate how gorgeous Minecraft is.
Likewise, Minecraft is tantalizing because you can do anything in it (Or. Anything that you can do with a set of 1X1 blocks, anyway.) I've built castles and vaults, constructed traps, and molded entire mountains to my whim. Water and fire have been my playthings. I have walked through hell and out the other side, just because I could (I've... Um. Spent a lot of time playing minecraft.)
But really, that's my problem with it. Once you can do everything, why do anything?
Or. Wait. That's a bit too dramatic.
I guess I mean, "Why set goals?"
What point does a goal have, in the end? I've built castles, yeah, but why? They look cool? Construction as an act of aesthetic expression is in-and-of itself a worthwhile experience? It's not like the castle is really doing anything, in the end. Anything but looking cool, I mean.
The best way to illustrate my issue is this: I started a minecraft world, and I loved it. I dug down into the dungeons and harvested all the ore and coal and diamonds I could lay my pixelated hands on. I built a castle, dug a tunnel under the ocean where glass domes sprouted like seaweed, had a railway system that threaded its way through mountains, and I had a goddamn floating island. It was really, really sweet.
After I'd finished my ultra-kill-tower, I stood at the top of the Tower of K and gazed upon my chests of gold and iron ore and thought "Okay, that was cool. What next?" So I walked west for a little while and climbed a ridge. And there was nothing but everything beyond it.
It's hard to describe the sinking feeling I got in my chest as I stood there looking out over the tops of the cube-trees into the draw-distance. It was something like... knowing you've got nothing to do for the rest of your life but pass the time.
(That was also a little dramatic. But I'll let it stand.)
Like, why did I build that castle? I mean, really? What impact has it had? Why do I want it to have an impact? Why impact, when there's nothing but the rest of the whole wide world outside your castle walls? What am I doing this for?
What am I doing this for, really?
The worst part of it was, as I stood there on top of the virtual ridge-line, I could imagine myself on top of a real mountain. I'd be looking out over the tops of clouds that pour through tree-lined valleys like silk through my fingers and I would think, "Okay, now what?"
What now?
And it might be that I've been spending too much time on the computer while it's pouring rain outside. Maybe I should go take a walk (where I run into the problem of "I've totally walked this way about 126 times before") or read a book (where I run into the problem of "I should be out walking or something.") I don't really know. I just keep feeling like I'm standing on the ridge-line looking out over the whole wide world, and finding myself tired.
Really, the only answer I keep coming back to when I ask "Now what" or "Why do anything" is "Whatever," and "Because I'm bored."
... Graduated lyfe.
Yeah. That's it.
Paralyzed with ennui.
I mean, it's a gorgeous game. Even for a game based around a set of 1X1 blocks that you punch until you make another pile of 1X1 blocks, it's gorgeous. No game has made me appreciate the majesty of intricately crafted blocky landscapes like Minecraft. The fact that I can say that with a straight face should indicate how gorgeous Minecraft is.
Likewise, Minecraft is tantalizing because you can do anything in it (Or. Anything that you can do with a set of 1X1 blocks, anyway.) I've built castles and vaults, constructed traps, and molded entire mountains to my whim. Water and fire have been my playthings. I have walked through hell and out the other side, just because I could (I've... Um. Spent a lot of time playing minecraft.)
But really, that's my problem with it. Once you can do everything, why do anything?
Or. Wait. That's a bit too dramatic.
I guess I mean, "Why set goals?"
What point does a goal have, in the end? I've built castles, yeah, but why? They look cool? Construction as an act of aesthetic expression is in-and-of itself a worthwhile experience? It's not like the castle is really doing anything, in the end. Anything but looking cool, I mean.
The best way to illustrate my issue is this: I started a minecraft world, and I loved it. I dug down into the dungeons and harvested all the ore and coal and diamonds I could lay my pixelated hands on. I built a castle, dug a tunnel under the ocean where glass domes sprouted like seaweed, had a railway system that threaded its way through mountains, and I had a goddamn floating island. It was really, really sweet.
After I'd finished my ultra-kill-tower, I stood at the top of the Tower of K and gazed upon my chests of gold and iron ore and thought "Okay, that was cool. What next?" So I walked west for a little while and climbed a ridge. And there was nothing but everything beyond it.
It's hard to describe the sinking feeling I got in my chest as I stood there looking out over the tops of the cube-trees into the draw-distance. It was something like... knowing you've got nothing to do for the rest of your life but pass the time.
(That was also a little dramatic. But I'll let it stand.)
Like, why did I build that castle? I mean, really? What impact has it had? Why do I want it to have an impact? Why impact, when there's nothing but the rest of the whole wide world outside your castle walls? What am I doing this for?
What am I doing this for, really?
The worst part of it was, as I stood there on top of the virtual ridge-line, I could imagine myself on top of a real mountain. I'd be looking out over the tops of clouds that pour through tree-lined valleys like silk through my fingers and I would think, "Okay, now what?"
What now?
And it might be that I've been spending too much time on the computer while it's pouring rain outside. Maybe I should go take a walk (where I run into the problem of "I've totally walked this way about 126 times before") or read a book (where I run into the problem of "I should be out walking or something.") I don't really know. I just keep feeling like I'm standing on the ridge-line looking out over the whole wide world, and finding myself tired.
Really, the only answer I keep coming back to when I ask "Now what" or "Why do anything" is "Whatever," and "Because I'm bored."
... Graduated lyfe.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Cleaning Time for MUSIC (Vol. 1)
Which means, of course, going through my ipod and deleting stuff.
Seriously, I don't know how half of this stuff gets on there. I think my ipod escapes at night, hangs out in seedy clubs and has unprotected sex with unfamiliar laptops. This turns into a metric ass-ton of music that I just don't know what to do with.
My plan of action: listen to two songs off the album. If the songs appease me, I've found a new band that I like. If not, I delete them BUM BUM BAAA.
First up, Apollo Sunshine's album Katonah.
(Oh- and PS, if I don't like a band that you like, I'm sorry.)
First song: Happening.
This is really happening, it's happening, I'm happy and-- something some-thing so-ome thing, blah bli blah blah bloo.
Maybe I would have liked this song in highschool? It's got almost angry screamings and a whiny something that hovers over the repetitive melody. Not much in the way of lyrics, though. I'm feeling charitable, though, so I've decided to move on to the next song.
Second Song: Blood is Wood.
What? What the fuck is this? Is this even from the same band? It's like the Partridge Family bit the lead singer and he's turned into some kind of ultra-radioactive douche. There are sleigh-bells. There are sleigh-bells in this song. But I think I caught a line that said something like "sweeping up the ashes of the bride and groom," so it makes it kinda better (?)
Overall ruling: I'm intrigued, but mostly just because of confusion. It's... I don't even know what to say. I'm listening to the next song and it's like a worse version of They Might Be Giants. Except for a line that says something like "I'd like to f*ck my way into the womb, maybe spend the afternoon." How did this get onto my ipod. (PS- now they have a Beatles breakdown!)
NEXT!
AT AT
First Song: For A Long Way Through
I'm not gonna lie, I was too busy trying to figure out formatting issues with bold text to listen to much of this song. But also, it doesn't sound like there's much I've been missing. People who can't sing singing in unison over an acoustic guitar that sounds like Bob Dylan's illegitimate son had twins and the musical/lyrical prowess that is carried through the Dylan line has been watered down to the point where nothing recognizable or interesting remains.
Ha. No. They're not that bad. Mostly just boring.
Second Song: Three Three Three
Seriously, they suck at singing. Is there two people? A mystery! Some pretty all-right guitar, though. Oho! Some meta-lyrics about how they're singing a song with chords in!
Overall Ruling: BAH get it off my ipod.
AU Verbs
First Song: Summerheat. Why do I have two bands that are two letters long? Either way, this one starts off with what I assume are whale songs, or whale songs played on a musical saw or glass harmonica. Fun fact: it was assumed that the glass harmonica would drive the listeners crazy if they were exposed to it long enough. It was also invented by Ben Franklin. True story.
Where was I?
Oh.
Yeah.
The complete lack of melody, replaced only by "HHHyyewwwwoooohhhaaaaAAAaaaooouuuuEEEeeyuuuwwwwoooooOOOOO." A guy is singing, but he is also not singing for more than two words at a time. Some might call the music 'minimalist,' others 'dull.'
WOAH where did this actual rhythm come from? I'm surprised! And only four minutes into the song! Though the singing stopped. Um.
Second Song :rr vs. d. What is it that hip things have against proper capitalization? The world may never know. Though I actually like this song. It's full of claps and machine-gun hoots. Also the singers are harmonizing and have more than three words that they sing (they're up to five!) I don't really like the circus-show-breakdown they have halfway through the song, though. That kinda lost me. If they didn't have a circus shoved into the song, I'd be right there with them.
Overall Ruling: The first song sucked, but the second was pretty all-right. This deserves further investigation. I KEEP THEM!
NEXXXT
Bad Veins Bad Veins
First Song: Crosseyed. Okay. Okay. Kinda like The Strokes, but...
Yeah. Pretty much like The Strokes. More distortion, but I think it might be a ruse to mask the fact that the lead singer isn't the lead singer of The Strokes (it'd totally be my luck if the lead singer was actually Julian Casablancas. Whoops!)
And hey-- if I've found a good 'The Strokes' substitute, that'd be cool. But I don't think this is it. Too much Coldplay mixed in. If you're a drunken New York hooligan, you shouldn't have choirs singing behind you.
Second Song :You Kill. bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "I'm whining about you cheating on me except it's slow and I'm singing it like I have no emotional connection to you" bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "You've pushed me down the stairs, and I'm pretty OK with that" bum TSbum. TSS.
Overall Ruling: Like The Strokes. Kinda worse. Pretty much entirely worse. THEY GONE.
Battles Mirrored
First Song: Tonto. Jesus. Did these people even watch The Lone Ranger? The stereotypical native-american rhythms sounded nothing like this. Though the stereotypical chanting did(?) I always get really depressed when I listen to music like this because it's always saying to me "I AM SO DIFFERENT PUT MY POST-ROCK IN YOUR EAR-HOLES," but then I don't really want to so it does the same thing twentysevenmillion times in a row just to get the point across. I would think it was more innovative if it wasn't seven straight minutes of "oomp TS pap TS oomp TS pap TS."
Second Song: Leyendecker. It kinda sounds like music to a bad videogame where you're walking through a giant sewer but then you get all pissed off because you've been wading through other people's shit for a good half-hour and you just passed the same save point you've been past three times already.
Overall Ruling: Take that, you post-rock scum!
... Jesus, am I only halfway through the 'B's?'
Shit.
Okay.
Bibio Fi
First Song: Puffer. Actually, I really kinda like this. It's got an 'English Countryside' feel with its poor recording quality but good rhythm without drums and charming guitar quartet-thing. Like all of the really nice parts of the Chronicles of Narnia.
Second Song: London Planes. This song is only a minute and a half long. But it's nice?
Overall Ruling: I feel like this is an album that I could fall asleep to, but in a good way. Like, that's the point of the album and it's totally OK with this fact. I do believe I shall keep it.
NEXT
The Black Lips 200 Million Thousand
First Song: Starting Over. Seriously, who sings like this? It's like the Velvet Underground got shit-faced and gave their instruments to the obnoxious guy at the end of the bar and told him to make a song with his friends in ten minutes. Not wanting to disappoint, the obnoxious guy gets the bartender and a hobo together and shoves one out in about seven. They've even got 'harmonies' in.
Second Song: Let It Grow. Mmmm. Yup. Okay. I'm done.
Overall Ruling: GET THEE BEHIND ME, BLACK LIPS!
Okay. I'm bored with this for now.
Tune in next time for another excellent edition of "Shit Keller Does when he's Bored!"
Seriously, I don't know how half of this stuff gets on there. I think my ipod escapes at night, hangs out in seedy clubs and has unprotected sex with unfamiliar laptops. This turns into a metric ass-ton of music that I just don't know what to do with.
My plan of action: listen to two songs off the album. If the songs appease me, I've found a new band that I like. If not, I delete them BUM BUM BAAA.
First up, Apollo Sunshine's album Katonah.
(Oh- and PS, if I don't like a band that you like, I'm sorry.)
First song: Happening.
This is really happening, it's happening, I'm happy and-- something some-thing so-ome thing, blah bli blah blah bloo.
Maybe I would have liked this song in highschool? It's got almost angry screamings and a whiny something that hovers over the repetitive melody. Not much in the way of lyrics, though. I'm feeling charitable, though, so I've decided to move on to the next song.
Second Song: Blood is Wood.
What? What the fuck is this? Is this even from the same band? It's like the Partridge Family bit the lead singer and he's turned into some kind of ultra-radioactive douche. There are sleigh-bells. There are sleigh-bells in this song. But I think I caught a line that said something like "sweeping up the ashes of the bride and groom," so it makes it kinda better (?)
Overall ruling: I'm intrigued, but mostly just because of confusion. It's... I don't even know what to say. I'm listening to the next song and it's like a worse version of They Might Be Giants. Except for a line that says something like "I'd like to f*ck my way into the womb, maybe spend the afternoon." How did this get onto my ipod. (PS- now they have a Beatles breakdown!)
NEXT!
AT AT
First Song: For A Long Way Through
I'm not gonna lie, I was too busy trying to figure out formatting issues with bold text to listen to much of this song. But also, it doesn't sound like there's much I've been missing. People who can't sing singing in unison over an acoustic guitar that sounds like Bob Dylan's illegitimate son had twins and the musical/lyrical prowess that is carried through the Dylan line has been watered down to the point where nothing recognizable or interesting remains.
Ha. No. They're not that bad. Mostly just boring.
Second Song: Three Three Three
Seriously, they suck at singing. Is there two people? A mystery! Some pretty all-right guitar, though. Oho! Some meta-lyrics about how they're singing a song with chords in!
Overall Ruling: BAH get it off my ipod.
AU Verbs
First Song: Summerheat. Why do I have two bands that are two letters long? Either way, this one starts off with what I assume are whale songs, or whale songs played on a musical saw or glass harmonica. Fun fact: it was assumed that the glass harmonica would drive the listeners crazy if they were exposed to it long enough. It was also invented by Ben Franklin. True story.
Where was I?
Oh.
Yeah.
The complete lack of melody, replaced only by "HHHyyewwwwoooohhhaaaaAAAaaaooouuuuEEEeeyuuuwwwwoooooOOOOO." A guy is singing, but he is also not singing for more than two words at a time. Some might call the music 'minimalist,' others 'dull.'
WOAH where did this actual rhythm come from? I'm surprised! And only four minutes into the song! Though the singing stopped. Um.
Second Song :rr vs. d. What is it that hip things have against proper capitalization? The world may never know. Though I actually like this song. It's full of claps and machine-gun hoots. Also the singers are harmonizing and have more than three words that they sing (they're up to five!) I don't really like the circus-show-breakdown they have halfway through the song, though. That kinda lost me. If they didn't have a circus shoved into the song, I'd be right there with them.
Overall Ruling: The first song sucked, but the second was pretty all-right. This deserves further investigation. I KEEP THEM!
NEXXXT
Bad Veins Bad Veins
First Song: Crosseyed. Okay. Okay. Kinda like The Strokes, but...
Yeah. Pretty much like The Strokes. More distortion, but I think it might be a ruse to mask the fact that the lead singer isn't the lead singer of The Strokes (it'd totally be my luck if the lead singer was actually Julian Casablancas. Whoops!)
And hey-- if I've found a good 'The Strokes' substitute, that'd be cool. But I don't think this is it. Too much Coldplay mixed in. If you're a drunken New York hooligan, you shouldn't have choirs singing behind you.
Second Song :You Kill. bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "I'm whining about you cheating on me except it's slow and I'm singing it like I have no emotional connection to you" bum TSbum. TSS. bum TSbum. TSS. "You've pushed me down the stairs, and I'm pretty OK with that" bum TSbum. TSS.
Overall Ruling: Like The Strokes. Kinda worse. Pretty much entirely worse. THEY GONE.
Battles Mirrored
First Song: Tonto. Jesus. Did these people even watch The Lone Ranger? The stereotypical native-american rhythms sounded nothing like this. Though the stereotypical chanting did(?) I always get really depressed when I listen to music like this because it's always saying to me "I AM SO DIFFERENT PUT MY POST-ROCK IN YOUR EAR-HOLES," but then I don't really want to so it does the same thing twentysevenmillion times in a row just to get the point across. I would think it was more innovative if it wasn't seven straight minutes of "oomp TS pap TS oomp TS pap TS."
Second Song: Leyendecker. It kinda sounds like music to a bad videogame where you're walking through a giant sewer but then you get all pissed off because you've been wading through other people's shit for a good half-hour and you just passed the same save point you've been past three times already.
Overall Ruling: Take that, you post-rock scum!
... Jesus, am I only halfway through the 'B's?'
Shit.
Okay.
Bibio Fi
First Song: Puffer. Actually, I really kinda like this. It's got an 'English Countryside' feel with its poor recording quality but good rhythm without drums and charming guitar quartet-thing. Like all of the really nice parts of the Chronicles of Narnia.
Second Song: London Planes. This song is only a minute and a half long. But it's nice?
Overall Ruling: I feel like this is an album that I could fall asleep to, but in a good way. Like, that's the point of the album and it's totally OK with this fact. I do believe I shall keep it.
NEXT
The Black Lips 200 Million Thousand
First Song: Starting Over. Seriously, who sings like this? It's like the Velvet Underground got shit-faced and gave their instruments to the obnoxious guy at the end of the bar and told him to make a song with his friends in ten minutes. Not wanting to disappoint, the obnoxious guy gets the bartender and a hobo together and shoves one out in about seven. They've even got 'harmonies' in.
Second Song: Let It Grow. Mmmm. Yup. Okay. I'm done.
Overall Ruling: GET THEE BEHIND ME, BLACK LIPS!
Okay. I'm bored with this for now.
Tune in next time for another excellent edition of "Shit Keller Does when he's Bored!"
Monday, February 28, 2011
CHILDREN
My views on children:
1. I don't trust them. Something about their beady little eyes and grubby fingers. Are all children villains? The off-rhyme-relationship between the two words seems to indicate so. And thieving? If I don't have a concept of what's mine and not-mine at age twenty-one, then what chance does a nine-year-old have? Seriously, I see one in the book store unattended and I'm all like, "Dude, you're nine. What are you doing here? You can't even read. Put the mad-libs down, because your fingers have germs on them."
2. They are like mini-people. Tiny, strange and annoying mini-people. They're like shrill person-larvae that have some rudimentary grasp of the damage they can inflict and it only intrigues them. There is no concept of consequence. So what if bites that break the skin leave permanent scars in the shape of tiny mini-person teeth? Human flesh tastes like candy.
3. They swarm. Where there's one, there are invariably others. They're like locusts, except bigger and more voracious. And they play games like 'hide and seek' so you even when you think you've gotten rid of them all they're still there. Lurking. And giggling.
4. The screaming. When humans were evolving from fuzzy proto-humans, the scream fulfilled a specific function as a sort of alarm, saying "I am a small child so pumas can kill me AND THERE IS ONE RIGHT THERE." Today, with modern anti-puma technology being what it is, the scream serves a function more akin to a "Joy-Siren," otherwise known as a "Bieber-Alert." Such a cry teaches listeners not to fear pumas, but to fear happiness.
5. Their ubiquity. Children are everywhere. There is no escape from children. There could be one behind you.
Right.
Now.
1. I don't trust them. Something about their beady little eyes and grubby fingers. Are all children villains? The off-rhyme-relationship between the two words seems to indicate so. And thieving? If I don't have a concept of what's mine and not-mine at age twenty-one, then what chance does a nine-year-old have? Seriously, I see one in the book store unattended and I'm all like, "Dude, you're nine. What are you doing here? You can't even read. Put the mad-libs down, because your fingers have germs on them."
2. They are like mini-people. Tiny, strange and annoying mini-people. They're like shrill person-larvae that have some rudimentary grasp of the damage they can inflict and it only intrigues them. There is no concept of consequence. So what if bites that break the skin leave permanent scars in the shape of tiny mini-person teeth? Human flesh tastes like candy.
3. They swarm. Where there's one, there are invariably others. They're like locusts, except bigger and more voracious. And they play games like 'hide and seek' so you even when you think you've gotten rid of them all they're still there. Lurking. And giggling.
4. The screaming. When humans were evolving from fuzzy proto-humans, the scream fulfilled a specific function as a sort of alarm, saying "I am a small child so pumas can kill me AND THERE IS ONE RIGHT THERE." Today, with modern anti-puma technology being what it is, the scream serves a function more akin to a "Joy-Siren," otherwise known as a "Bieber-Alert." Such a cry teaches listeners not to fear pumas, but to fear happiness.
5. Their ubiquity. Children are everywhere. There is no escape from children. There could be one behind you.
Right.
Now.
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Things that Graduated Life has taught me:
Being out of school for two months has basically made me an expert on everything about life. Being a generous sort, I've decided to pass on some of my wisdom. In a list. I like lists (It's a graduated thing.)
1. Despite your best intentions to the contrary, you will not start cooking more once you've graduated. Unless it's cereal. Unless you're out of milk, and then it's dry cereal. Until you're out of cereal, and then it's tortillas with cheese on them. And then it's tortillas. Just tortillas. Only tortillas. Always tortillas.
2. When tortillas run out, rely on leftover baked goods from your job or handouts from your roommate. Your girlfriend will get wise to your ascetic antics (ascantics?) too quickly to nourish yourself for very long. She is wise, the girlfriend. Too wise.
3. Nobody will understand your trials and tribulations. Seriously-- all the sudden everybody's going to talk to you about how 'lucky' you are, and how they wish they 'didn't have to write ten pages by tomorrow' and stuff. Don't these people understand how hard Donkey Kong Country is?
4. Boredom, not inspiration, is the source of humanity's achievements. I'll bet Beethoven was all like, "Dude, I've already refreshed my facebook five times and it's not even noon. I'mma go write some sonatas."
5. It turns out, that whole "social interaction" thing was pretty cool when it happened. Some might even say it was necessary to your continued mental health. But they don't know the joy of completing a city made of sugar-cubes. Or talking to yourself. Do they, Keller? No, Keller. They don't.
6. Making a city of sugar-cubes, even though you only made it up for a blog post, starts to sound like a good idea.
Um...
... Excuse me for a couple of hours. I've got to go... Work. On a thing. Made of sugar.
1. Despite your best intentions to the contrary, you will not start cooking more once you've graduated. Unless it's cereal. Unless you're out of milk, and then it's dry cereal. Until you're out of cereal, and then it's tortillas with cheese on them. And then it's tortillas. Just tortillas. Only tortillas. Always tortillas.
2. When tortillas run out, rely on leftover baked goods from your job or handouts from your roommate. Your girlfriend will get wise to your ascetic antics (ascantics?) too quickly to nourish yourself for very long. She is wise, the girlfriend. Too wise.
3. Nobody will understand your trials and tribulations. Seriously-- all the sudden everybody's going to talk to you about how 'lucky' you are, and how they wish they 'didn't have to write ten pages by tomorrow' and stuff. Don't these people understand how hard Donkey Kong Country is?
4. Boredom, not inspiration, is the source of humanity's achievements. I'll bet Beethoven was all like, "Dude, I've already refreshed my facebook five times and it's not even noon. I'mma go write some sonatas."
5. It turns out, that whole "social interaction" thing was pretty cool when it happened. Some might even say it was necessary to your continued mental health. But they don't know the joy of completing a city made of sugar-cubes. Or talking to yourself. Do they, Keller? No, Keller. They don't.
6. Making a city of sugar-cubes, even though you only made it up for a blog post, starts to sound like a good idea.
Um...
... Excuse me for a couple of hours. I've got to go... Work. On a thing. Made of sugar.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Why I hate everything that water has in it...
Like fish.
Or floating anthropoids.
Or bacteria.
Or mutha fukken HOLE IN HEAD DISEASE.
Seriously, that's a thing.
So, recently, my car has decided to choke on its own exhaust pipe. I'll be driving it and it starts cutting out in the middle of the highway. Since there is nothing BUT highway in foco, I'm forced to drive through horrible empty parking lots until I reach my apartment from getting groceries while my car reminds me every thirty seconds that it's dying of car-bronchitis (chronchitis?) (Really, it's more like tuberculosis. That's consumption, right? I feel like my car is the kind of car that would tell you stories about how it's spent its life workin' in the coal mines over a cheap beer.)
(That'd probably be black lung disease.)
(Regardless.)
This affliction chose to take hold during one of the shittingest cold-snaps this town has seen in a while. Like, negative eight. But since I have no sense of temperature/self preservation and I heard that a blockbuster was closing down on the south end of town (along the highway), I convinced a group of my friends that "No, we shouldn't spend the frigid evening safe in the comfort of my apartment" and that "It's totally a good idea to go to blockbuster, like, right now."
On the way there, my car starts coughing. It waves me off and tells me it's nothing, but I can tell something's wrong. But I say nothing. My car has its dignity, after all.
We reach blockbuster and things are still too expensive to afford (even though I REALLY wanted a twilight-themed snuggie) so we all decided to go back to my apartment.
Just out of the parking lot, my car coughs again. I inquire after its well-being, and it waves me off. As it opens its mouth to tell me it's all right, it erupts in a fit of oil and ill-will. Giant wracking coughs jolt the car as we're careening down the highway.
I turn on my emergency blinkers.
Once we've turned off into a K-Mart parking lot, I apologize to my friend about how my car is about to hack up a carbourateaur (I don't know how to spell car-parts.) She says it's cool, and something-something-something "this disease that fish can get called Ick."
"Ick?"
"Yeah."
"What is 'Ick?'"
"It's short for *big science word.* Basically, fish have absolutely no immune system. Whenever anything shocks their system--like moving to another tank or getting introduced to another fish or being breathed on--they get sick. Ick is when these tiny parasites take advantage of stressed fish."
"Take advantage of?"
"They get under the fish's scales and then multiply, growing into big white wriggling pustules."
"... What."
"Yeah, then the pustules burst, sending parasites into the water to infect more fishes."
"... WHAT."
"Yeah. At least it's not as bad as 'hole in the head' disease."
I am silent.
"That's where bacteria basically burrow-"
"My car is shitty, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
So, this is why I hate water. Because it makes holes in your head, and then parasites get in the hole and make pustules of other parasites in your brain. Also there are fire-worms there.
PS- It turns out that, yes, humans can get Ick.
Or floating anthropoids.
Or bacteria.
Or mutha fukken HOLE IN HEAD DISEASE.
Seriously, that's a thing.
So, recently, my car has decided to choke on its own exhaust pipe. I'll be driving it and it starts cutting out in the middle of the highway. Since there is nothing BUT highway in foco, I'm forced to drive through horrible empty parking lots until I reach my apartment from getting groceries while my car reminds me every thirty seconds that it's dying of car-bronchitis (chronchitis?) (Really, it's more like tuberculosis. That's consumption, right? I feel like my car is the kind of car that would tell you stories about how it's spent its life workin' in the coal mines over a cheap beer.)
(That'd probably be black lung disease.)
(Regardless.)
This affliction chose to take hold during one of the shittingest cold-snaps this town has seen in a while. Like, negative eight. But since I have no sense of temperature/self preservation and I heard that a blockbuster was closing down on the south end of town (along the highway), I convinced a group of my friends that "No, we shouldn't spend the frigid evening safe in the comfort of my apartment" and that "It's totally a good idea to go to blockbuster, like, right now."
On the way there, my car starts coughing. It waves me off and tells me it's nothing, but I can tell something's wrong. But I say nothing. My car has its dignity, after all.
We reach blockbuster and things are still too expensive to afford (even though I REALLY wanted a twilight-themed snuggie) so we all decided to go back to my apartment.
Just out of the parking lot, my car coughs again. I inquire after its well-being, and it waves me off. As it opens its mouth to tell me it's all right, it erupts in a fit of oil and ill-will. Giant wracking coughs jolt the car as we're careening down the highway.
I turn on my emergency blinkers.
Once we've turned off into a K-Mart parking lot, I apologize to my friend about how my car is about to hack up a carbourateaur (I don't know how to spell car-parts.) She says it's cool, and something-something-something "this disease that fish can get called Ick."
"Ick?"
"Yeah."
"What is 'Ick?'"
"It's short for *big science word.* Basically, fish have absolutely no immune system. Whenever anything shocks their system--like moving to another tank or getting introduced to another fish or being breathed on--they get sick. Ick is when these tiny parasites take advantage of stressed fish."
"Take advantage of?"
"They get under the fish's scales and then multiply, growing into big white wriggling pustules."
"... What."
"Yeah, then the pustules burst, sending parasites into the water to infect more fishes."
"... WHAT."
"Yeah. At least it's not as bad as 'hole in the head' disease."
I am silent.
"That's where bacteria basically burrow-"
"My car is shitty, isn't it?"
"Yeah."
So, this is why I hate water. Because it makes holes in your head, and then parasites get in the hole and make pustules of other parasites in your brain. Also there are fire-worms there.
PS- It turns out that, yes, humans can get Ick.
Monday, February 7, 2011
A Thank-You to Brian Jacques
So, Brian Jacques recently passed away. He was the author of the Redwall series, which was all about talking mice that fought talking rats with a magic sword.
Man, I would totally keep going with how ridiculous that sounds, but the truth of the matter is that the Redwall books were some of the most influential books of my childhood.
I loved the whole shebang-- all the silly agnostic mice that lived inside of an abbey and ate delicious things, and the evil rodents that wanted in on the good thing they had going. All the badger-lords of Salamandastron, and the Long Patrol that they bossed around. The sword of Martin the Warrior, and all that shit. I loved it.
I mean, seriously-- I read it all. I listened to the books on tape to go to sleep at night. I'm not ashamed to say that I liked Redwall more than I liked most everything else that I was reading or watching (or doing, or that was happening in my life) at the time.
Redwall was the first saga that I ever really felt I was a part of. I grew up with the story, and I felt myself invested in the world that Jacques created. I wanted everything to go well for the talking mice just as much as I wanted to eat the delicious things that the critters at Redwall Abbey cooked up (to this day, there has never been a writer that has tantalized me with descriptions of food like Brian Jacques.) As silly as it was, I thought that it was the coolest thing. Moreover, I thought it was the most important thing for the mice to find the sword of Martin again so they could fight off the slavers and the brigands just in time for whatever non-denominational woodland festival Redwall had going at the time. Brian Jacques made me care about a story--about a group of characters, a place, an entire world and everything in it-- in a way that nobody before (and very few since) have been able to do.
In time, I grew up. I stopped reading the Redwall series because I started high-school, and at the time I thought those books were for little kids. And anyway, I had other things to read--things for class, other series of books, and so on--so I left the world of Redwall behind.
Except, I don't think I ever really did. No matter what I read, or where I've gone or what I've learned from years of books and classes, some part of me has always been sitting down at the table with Matthias, Methuselah, Basil Stag Hare and all the rest, eating a bowl of strawberries and cream and listening to the story of how Redwall Abbey was saved from Cluny the Scourge. And I know, and I can say without any hesitation, that I've loved every minute of it.
Thanks, Brian Jacques.
Man, I would totally keep going with how ridiculous that sounds, but the truth of the matter is that the Redwall books were some of the most influential books of my childhood.
I loved the whole shebang-- all the silly agnostic mice that lived inside of an abbey and ate delicious things, and the evil rodents that wanted in on the good thing they had going. All the badger-lords of Salamandastron, and the Long Patrol that they bossed around. The sword of Martin the Warrior, and all that shit. I loved it.
I mean, seriously-- I read it all. I listened to the books on tape to go to sleep at night. I'm not ashamed to say that I liked Redwall more than I liked most everything else that I was reading or watching (or doing, or that was happening in my life) at the time.
Redwall was the first saga that I ever really felt I was a part of. I grew up with the story, and I felt myself invested in the world that Jacques created. I wanted everything to go well for the talking mice just as much as I wanted to eat the delicious things that the critters at Redwall Abbey cooked up (to this day, there has never been a writer that has tantalized me with descriptions of food like Brian Jacques.) As silly as it was, I thought that it was the coolest thing. Moreover, I thought it was the most important thing for the mice to find the sword of Martin again so they could fight off the slavers and the brigands just in time for whatever non-denominational woodland festival Redwall had going at the time. Brian Jacques made me care about a story--about a group of characters, a place, an entire world and everything in it-- in a way that nobody before (and very few since) have been able to do.
In time, I grew up. I stopped reading the Redwall series because I started high-school, and at the time I thought those books were for little kids. And anyway, I had other things to read--things for class, other series of books, and so on--so I left the world of Redwall behind.
Except, I don't think I ever really did. No matter what I read, or where I've gone or what I've learned from years of books and classes, some part of me has always been sitting down at the table with Matthias, Methuselah, Basil Stag Hare and all the rest, eating a bowl of strawberries and cream and listening to the story of how Redwall Abbey was saved from Cluny the Scourge. And I know, and I can say without any hesitation, that I've loved every minute of it.
Thanks, Brian Jacques.
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