Things that Graduated Life has taught me:

Being out of school for two months has basically made me an expert on everything about life. Being a generous sort, I've decided to pass on some of my wisdom. In a list. I like lists (It's a graduated thing.)

1. Despite your best intentions to the contrary, you will not start cooking more once you've graduated. Unless it's cereal. Unless you're out of milk, and then it's dry cereal. Until you're out of cereal, and then it's tortillas with cheese on them. And then it's tortillas. Just tortillas. Only tortillas. Always tortillas.

2. When tortillas run out, rely on leftover baked goods from your job or handouts from your roommate. Your girlfriend will get wise to your ascetic antics (ascantics?) too quickly to nourish yourself for very long. She is wise, the girlfriend. Too wise.

3. Nobody will understand your trials and tribulations. Seriously-- all the sudden everybody's going to talk to you about how 'lucky' you are, and how they wish they 'didn't have to write ten pages by tomorrow' and stuff. Don't these people understand how hard Donkey Kong Country is?

4. Boredom, not inspiration, is the source of humanity's achievements. I'll bet Beethoven was all like, "Dude, I've already refreshed my facebook five times and it's not even noon. I'mma go write some sonatas."

5. It turns out, that whole "social interaction" thing was pretty cool when it happened. Some might even say it was necessary to your continued mental health. But they don't know the joy of completing a city made of sugar-cubes. Or talking to yourself. Do they, Keller? No, Keller. They don't.

6. Making a city of sugar-cubes, even though you only made it up for a blog post, starts to sound like a good idea.

Um...

... Excuse me for a couple of hours. I've got to go... Work. On a thing. Made of sugar.