CLEANING TIME FOR MUSIC VOL.2 because it is RAINING

Seriously, I'm sick of this goddamn rain. I know, I know-- "This might be the first year without drought conditions!" and "It's really helping with the forest fires!" and "BLAH BLAH BLAH WEH WEH."
So, instead of being productive, I'm indulging in my middle-class privilege by remarking on all of the pretty pretty music I have.
OR IS IT PRETTY?!
We'll see!

FIRST UP!

(Wow. I listen to most of by B's. Golly.)

Black Tambourine Black Tambourine
First Song: Throw Aggie Off the Bridge - I'm not gonna lie, I chose this song mostly for the title. Goddamn Aggie, man! Always talkin' trash. Always.
But really, I kinda like this song. It's got sort of a Pixies-ish charm with a Ramones-ish lack of talent. Also lady singers, which is pretty rad.
Second Song : Drown - I'm... picking up on an unsettling theme here. A theme that could be considered creepy if this music weren't so gesh-dern CUTE! Seriously, it's like a fuzzy fifties swingin' tune, except Earth Angel is now floating face-down in a reservoir.
Overall Ruling: I'm actually really liking this music. For all that it seems to be exclusively about people dying in water.
I KEEP.

Off to an auspicious start! Next up?

Blonde Redhead 23
First Song: Dr. Strangeluv - Huh. This is... Good. Like, I'm usually against cutsey mis-spellings of cinematic landmarks (on general principle) but there's something I like about how this singer doesn't really sound like a good singer but still manages to sound unique without hurting my ear-holes. Also? Cowbell. Good cowbell.
Second Song : The Dress - I like this song a little less. I dunno. It sounds like The Knife, but less complex. And the guitar is kinda cheesy. Like, bad horror movie cheesy. Asylum-level sci-fi original movie cheesy. Maybe not that cheesy. I'm over-reacting. But still pretty cheesy. And the lyrics are a little boring (Maybe I'm used to lyrics about people drowning? IT'S THE RAIN'S FAULT.)
Overall Ruling: I really liked the first song, but then the second song let me down. I'm split. Is the rest of the album ho-hum humdrum like The Dress? Or awesome possum kick in the patoot like Dr. Strangeluv? Only further investigation will say!
KEEP!

Bon Iver For Emma, Forever ago
I know, I know. Bon Iver is actually a famous musician, and he's good, and I should have listened to him about 30 goddamn years ago. I'd like to say that I've given him a fair shake. My confession? Every time he comes up on my ipod's shufflings, I skip him. I'm a busy man!
First Song: Skinny Love - Whoops. I think this is his famous song. I just picked it because I'm a thin person, and I'm a fan of love. So far, though, I'm about halfway. Like, it's a good song, but it's a different flavor of Iron & Wine. There's something alluring about his voice, though. It's tough to judge because I'm thinking of all the movie trailers that this song has been in. Hm.
Second Song : The Wolves (Act I&II) - Why? Why are there multiple acts? It is a song that only lasts five minutes, and--
Oh. Oh crap. I'm getting that fuzzy folk feeling right down behind my ribs. Damnit, Bon Iver. You know I'm a sucker for fuzzy folky crescendos. Did you plan this? Did you plan this?!
Overall Ruling: Okay. I guess Bon Iver has earned his (their?) reputation. I guess I like this music. I guess I'll keep it. I guess.

Broken Social Scene You Forgot it in People
This is another one of those bands that could be considered "really good, and I don't know why you're just now listening to them. I mean, really, Keller? C'mon." But the truth of the matter is, the only song that I've ever really listened to on this album is Anthems for a Seventeen Year Old Girl. And then, only because it's on the Scott Pilgrim soundtrack. And I totally liked it! But I haven't really connected that song with the band that created it, in my mind. SO HERE WE GO!
First Song: Stars and Sons - Mm. My first impression is... less than shining. But it's growing on me. It's got the same post-rock follies that Battles suffered from where the same thing happens over and over again, but I actually like what they're doing in this one. Also, claps. I am a sucker for claps. Really, it's like that joke that you've heard a million times and it only becomes funny after the first five hundred thousand repetitions.
I'm bobbing my head! This is a good sign.
Second Song: Almost Crimes (Radio Kills Remix) - I always hate songs that reference things that I don't understand. What is Radio Kills? Why remix it? Was the original not good enough for you?! The song seems good, though. BSS seems like they usually start their songs off a little underwhelming, and then they move in for the ultra-rock super-kill. This song is pretty standard until the saxophone comes in.
Overall Ruling: Pretty good, I guess. The second song isn't really what I'm looking for right now-- kind of a mix between Built to Spill and The Offspring, but I think these guys deserve more chances.

Man. I want to delete some stuff! WHAT THE EFF. WHERE IS ALL THE TERRIBLE MUSIC.

Maybe the letter C will help!

The Caesars 39 Minutes of Bliss
First Song: Out of my Hands - I know that Jerk it Out is their famous song, so I'm starting with the one after that.
And. Eh. It's okay. Kinda... Eh. But I said I'd listen to at least two songs all the way through, so I've got to slug this one out.
Durp durp. Two minutes left.
Now a minute and a half.
... Closing in on a minute. Yup. Now we're at a minute.
I wonder if the total running time for this album is 39 minutes? Or if, like, they figured the running time into their bad songs too, so it's really like 47 minutes long.
Second Song: Only You - This sounds like the last song. Except it's more insulting ("You got ears like dumbo, baby!" is the first line.)
Overall Ruling: This sucks. Yessss.
DELETION POWERS ACTIVATE!

Candy Claws In the Dream of the Sea Life
This band is actually from the town I live in. I've never met them, nor have I ever heard their music. I have, however, seen one of their short films. And it was weird.
First Song: Starry Fighter Kite - Gloopbloop deepdeepdeepcheep chimchimchimchimchimchim. This is what I get out of this song. And then that, but fuzzier and distorted. For all that, though, I kindof like it. It manages to actually have a structure finally, after about 2:50 in. It's like a quieter Animal Collective. Hm.
Second Song: Catamaran - I think this is their single, actually. It doesn't really have a lead-in, because they keep faking us out with more electronic squawking. It's cute, I guess.
Update: it wasn't the band that had the bad electronic squawking, it was the video that I was trying to load on my infirm computer. So hey! They've got points for that, I guess?
Overall Ruling: I think I'm going to keep it, but only for the hipster cred. Like, "Oh hey Keller, have you heard of this obscure Northern Colorado band?" "Yeah. I've listened to two whole songs." ":-O"

Okay. I gotta eat some food. But first!

Bonus Track!
Cardigans Iron Man
TThis is probably one of the coolest covers of any song ever. Like, instead of Ozzy Osbourne, we've got a twenty-something lady crooning over an electronic drum beat and synth about how Iron Man traveled time for the future of mankind.
Ka-LINK:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzgZJEpLuw0

Why Minecraft's Got Me Down (Or, "The Sandbox Blues.")

There's something that's got me down about Minecraft. As much as I love it, and for how excellent it's made, I have to say that it makes me really... pensive, I guess? I don't know-- uncomfortable. Not uncomfortable, but unhappy. Paralyzed with ennui.

Yeah. That's it.
Paralyzed with ennui.

I mean, it's a gorgeous game. Even for a game based around a set of 1X1 blocks that you punch until you make another pile of 1X1 blocks, it's gorgeous. No game has made me appreciate the majesty of intricately crafted blocky landscapes like Minecraft. The fact that I can say that with a straight face should indicate how gorgeous Minecraft is.
Likewise, Minecraft is tantalizing because you can do anything in it (Or. Anything that you can do with a set of 1X1 blocks, anyway.) I've built castles and vaults, constructed traps, and molded entire mountains to my whim. Water and fire have been my playthings. I have walked through hell and out the other side, just because I could (I've... Um. Spent a lot of time playing minecraft.)
But really, that's my problem with it. Once you can do everything, why do anything?
Or. Wait. That's a bit too dramatic.
I guess I mean, "Why set goals?"
What point does a goal have, in the end? I've built castles, yeah, but why? They look cool? Construction as an act of aesthetic expression is in-and-of itself a worthwhile experience? It's not like the castle is really doing anything, in the end. Anything but looking cool, I mean.
The best way to illustrate my issue is this: I started a minecraft world, and I loved it. I dug down into the dungeons and harvested all the ore and coal and diamonds I could lay my pixelated hands on. I built a castle, dug a tunnel under the ocean where glass domes sprouted like seaweed, had a railway system that threaded its way through mountains, and I had a goddamn floating island. It was really, really sweet.
After I'd finished my ultra-kill-tower, I stood at the top of the Tower of K and gazed upon my chests of gold and iron ore and thought "Okay, that was cool. What next?" So I walked west for a little while and climbed a ridge. And there was nothing but everything beyond it.
It's hard to describe the sinking feeling I got in my chest as I stood there looking out over the tops of the cube-trees into the draw-distance. It was something like... knowing you've got nothing to do for the rest of your life but pass the time.
(That was also a little dramatic. But I'll let it stand.)
Like, why did I build that castle? I mean, really? What impact has it had? Why do I want it to have an impact? Why impact, when there's nothing but the rest of the whole wide world outside your castle walls? What am I doing this for?
What am I doing this for, really?
The worst part of it was, as I stood there on top of the virtual ridge-line, I could imagine myself on top of a real mountain. I'd be looking out over the tops of clouds that pour through tree-lined valleys like silk through my fingers and I would think, "Okay, now what?"
What now?
And it might be that I've been spending too much time on the computer while it's pouring rain outside. Maybe I should go take a walk (where I run into the problem of "I've totally walked this way about 126 times before") or read a book (where I run into the problem of "I should be out walking or something.") I don't really know. I just keep feeling like I'm standing on the ridge-line looking out over the whole wide world, and finding myself tired.

Really, the only answer I keep coming back to when I ask "Now what" or "Why do anything" is "Whatever," and "Because I'm bored."

... Graduated lyfe.